


Peak

by pcyjunguwudays



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Assault, I'm Sorry, Mentions of Rape, Sexual Assault, Triggers, dojae
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2019-06-17 18:22:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15467283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pcyjunguwudays/pseuds/pcyjunguwudays
Summary: In which Doyoung makes a rash decision and ends up suffering wrongly.





	Peak

**Author's Note:**

> A couple of things before we start this:  
> -1. This was based off of a real life experience of a FRIEND of mine. NOT a personal one. Therefore, because of the sensitivity of these issues, my portrayal is NOT ACCURATE. I don't know enough to write them accurately, but I did try my best.  
> -2. There are a few things omitted from the plot, for example, what happened in that two-week time skip and the reaction of the manager (you'll understand when you get there). That's because I just didn't know how to write it properly. I did have stuff written, but it was not to my liking. I'd rather have a time skip and plot holes than something that's completely inaccurate.  
> -3. As much as it is fictional, things like this DO happen. Please keep this in mind as you read, because like i said before, I did try and make it as realistic as possible while still keeping the fictional element in tact.  
> -4. Having said all of this, and with you (hopefully) having reading the tags, PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK! I'M WARNING YOU NOW, READ AT YOUR OWN DAMN RISK!
> 
> Enjoy :) x

“I’m feeling adventurous,” Doyoung sighed as he sat down on the couch next to Taeyong, rolling his shoulders. The hot shower had been nice for his muscles after their long day at practice, and now he was looking forward to their next few days of rest. They had a week to do whatever they pleased before their next round of schedules started up. Doyoung knew that Taeyong and Johnny had some activities planned for everyone, especially for their youngest members, and it sounded nice, but as far as he knew, there was nothing planned for tomorrow. 

“Well we have a whole week off, so do whatever adventurous activity you want to do,” Taeyong replied. 

“I was thinking of climbing Bukhansan,” Doyoung responded. “Tomorrow. What do you say?”

“Bukhansan?!” Taeyong exclaimed. “But that’s like...the highest mountain in Seoul! Practically the highest mountain in Korea!”

“It’s the highest in Seoul, but not in Korea,” Doyoung corrected. 

“Why do you wanna go there anywhere?”

“Go where?” Winwin asked as he, Johnny and Yuta entered the room, sprawling out along the furniture.

“Doyoung wants to climb Bukhansan mountain,” Taeyong told him. 

“It’s been a long time since I’ve gone,” Doyoung replied, shrugging at the four boys. “I used to go a lot with my parents and brother when were children. But then my brother and I entered training so we stopped going.”

“What did you even used to do up there?” Yuta asked. “Isn’t it like the tallest mountain Korea or something?”

“The tallest in Seoul, yes,” Doyoung rolled his eyes. “And we used to hike up there and then watch the sunrise. It was really pretty. We’d spend most of the day there. Sometimes we’d come back at nightfall, after the sunset. We used to take food and have picnics. Usually we’d be back down at around twelve or one o’clock, before the sun got too hot, and then we’d just go and relax around the city. It’s really refreshing.”

“Sounds awesome,” Johnny said, stretching out his legs. “But I’m kind of tired. My legs ache.”

“Same here,” the other three chorused.

“It’s fine, I’ll just ask someone else, I didn’t expect you lot to come with me, anyway. Lazy.” He stood up, leaving the couch empty for another person, and left the room, going to find Taeil. 

“Doyoung! You hungry?” Taeil was standing in the kitchen next to Ten and Kun, making noodles. 

“Nah, I’ll be fine. I just wanted to ask you guys, does anyone want to come and climb Bukhansan with me tomorrow morning? I asked the rest of 127, but no one else wants to come.”

“Bukhansan?” Ten asked, pouring in the seasoning for Taeil. “What’s that?”

“It’s a mountain,” Doyoung explained patiently. “I used to go there when I was a child, but I haven’t gone in a while. Anyone want to join me?”

“Depends when we have to wake up,” Taeil replied, eyeing Doyoung suspiciously. “My natural beauty requires a certain number of hours of sleep to recharge.”

“Well...the sun rises at around quarter to seven in the morning...so we’d have to wake up at maybe half past two in the morning? To prepare and then to get up there, it’ll take time.” Ten gave him such a look of disgust, it almost propelled Doyoung straight out of the kitchen. He shook his head vehemently, and Doyoung sighed. “Kun?”

“We’re on Dreamies duty tomorrow,” Kun replied. “We’re taking them out for movies, and then Taeyong hyung wants a bowling match tomorrow with everyone, so there’s that in the evening.”

“Oh yeah, of course,” Doyoung slapped his forehead. “I forgot about the match.”

“Well you’re not going to spend all day up there, are you?” Ten said. “You’ll be back in time for the match, right?”

“Of course! I only wanted to see the sunrise, maybe spend an hour or two up there and then come back,” Doyoung replied. “I should be back by ten a.m.” 

“Who else have you asked?”

“Whoever’s sitting inside and you lot yet.” He turned to leave. “Oh well.”

“Ask Lucas or Jungwoo! And how about Mark or Donghyuck? Oh, and have you asked Jaehyun?”

“I’ll ask!”

“Oh, and tell everyone to come and eat!” 

“Will do!”

Doyoung headed off to the Dreamies dorm, where he found Lucas and Jungwoo hanging out with their youngest members. He pushed open the door, prompting a scream. A figure shot out from behind the door and straight into the sitting room. Doyoung blinked. Yelling ensued from the room, accompanied by dull thuds, and the elder realised that they were having a pillow fight. He wandered over to the sitting room to see a pile of bodies. Lucas’s legs wiggled in defeat as the Dreamies and Jungwoo piled on top of him. Doyoung tapped Jaemin on the shoulder, who immediately got up as he saw his hyung. One by one, they all got up, their faces flushed. 

Lucas sighed in relief, his eyes shut tightly as he stretched. “You’re all los-AAAAH!” he yelled as Doyoung jumped on him again. His eyes shot open in surprise. “Hyung!”

Doyoung grinned widely as he started to reply, but his breath was cut off as Jungwoo motioned to the others, and they all in turn jumped on top of Doyoung. After another five minute scuffle, they all lay out on the ground, exhausted. “I just showered, but because of Xuxi hyung, I have to shower again,” Haechan grumbled. “I stink.”

“You always stink,” Chenle, Jisung and Renjun chorused at once. Jisung instinctively cowered, but Haechan just rolled his eyes, too drained to move. “So, what can we do for you, hyung?” Chenle asked. “You never come by our dorm.”

“That’s because you’re always at ours,” Doyoung rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, but only because Mark hyung can’t cook. Taeyong hyung and Yuta hyung make really nice food.” Chenle pouted for effect, then winced as Mark hit his arm, albeit weakly. 

“Anyway,” Doyoung cleared his throat. “I just wanted to ask if anyone wants to climb Bukhansan tomorrow with me? I know you kids have plans, so basically I’m asking Lucas and Jungwoo. Oh, and you two, unless you’re going to watch the movie,” he added, sitting up and pointing at Mark and Haechan.

“Well after you all jumped on me twice, my back hurts and I’m not in any condition to climb a bunch of stairs, never mind a whole mountain,” Lucas pouted for effect. “Sorry hyung.”

“Jungwoo?” Doyoung asked hopefully. At this rate, he’d really be going by himself, and he did want to share the experience. Jungwoo sighed, shaking his head.

“I’m really sorry, hyung, but I’m going to practice for a while tomorrow.” 

“Practice?! But we’re free!”

“But I need to practice,” Jungwoo responded. “I want to improve my skills, I’m not good enough just yet.” Doyoung stood up, squeezing Jungwoo’s shoulder. 

“Zeus, you’re more than good enough. You’re amazing! There’s no other reason why you would be in NCT. You’re perfect for our dynamics. Take a rest day.” Jungwoo looked doubtful, but nodded anyway. Doyoung sighed. “I guess I’ll go by myself, then.”

“Have you asked Jaehyun hyung?” Lucas asked, and Doyoung shook his head.

“No...he’s the only one left. I’ll go and ask him now actually.”

“Are you coming bowling with us in the evening, hyung?” Jeno asked. Doyoung nodded. 

“Yeah, I’ll be back by like ten or so, I’ll be more than ready to join you.” He stood up to leave. “Taeil hyung says to come and eat.”

“Have fun! See you hyung!” they chorused as Doyoung left the dorm. 

“Jaehyun!” Doyoung called as he entered the dorm. “Where are you?”

“He’s in his room,” Taeyong supplied, looking up from his phone as Doyoung walked through the lounge. “Have you asked him yet?”

“On my way, TY.” Doyoung hurried off to Jaehyun and Johnny’s room; Jaehyun was sitting on the edge of the bed, seemingly deep in thought about something. He looked up as Doyoung entered.

“Hey, hyung.”

“You ok, Casper?” Doyoung asked, sitting down.

“Yeah, I’m just a bit tired,” the younger replied, stretching. “What’s up?”

“I was wondering if you wanted to come and climb Bukhansan with me tomorrow morning? I asked everyone, but no one wants to go.” Jaehyun grinned at Doyoung's pout. “Please?”

“Sure! I’m up for that, why not? You’re going to see the sunrise, right?”

“Yeah, how did you know?”

“You used to talk about watching it with your family when you were young.” Jaehyun grinned again as Doyoung pouted. “I guess it’s a date then. What time are we getting up?”

“Half two-ish, so you’d better get some sleep.” Doyoung patted Jaehyun on the shoulder as he stood up. “Thanks, bro.”

“You’re welcome. See you tomorrow.” Doyoung waved, leaving the room, a satisfied grin on his face. He’d finally have some company.

**********

Early the next morning, Doyoung rose after only four hours of sleep. Mark’s bed was empty, as he’d chosen to stay with the Dreamies, meaning Doyoung had the room to himself. He was glad. Mark got cranky when didn’t get enough sleep, and Doyoung was tired by himself as it was. He washed and got his bag packed with all the essentials: waterproof coat, extra layers, gloves and water. In the kitchen, he quietly pulled out the food they had left over from dinner the previous night: chicken noodles, with a small amount of kimchi. He quickly made coffee and poured the steaming hot beverage into a small flask to take with him. By a quarter past three, he was ready. 

He decided to let Jaehyun sleep in a bit, as the younger had looked totally exhausted last night. He quietly entered the room, tiptoeing past Johnny’s bed to get to Jaehyun. He sat down gently, but Jaehyun didn’t even stir, completely dead to the world. 

“Jae?” He whispered. “Jae, time to go.” Jaehyun remained unresponsive, his light snores filling the room. “Jaehyun?” Doyoung shook him a little. Jaehyun groaned, throwing his arm over his face. “Jaehyun, come on, we need to go, it’s time to get up…” 

“Go ‘way, Doie,” Jaehyun muttered, turning over in the bed. “‘m tired.” 

“Jae...you said you’d come with me,” Doyoung whispered, but Jaehyun had already gone back to sleep. He sighed, standing up and leaving the room. Guess it was just him by himself, then.

He left, going back to the kitchen. Watching the sunrise in peace would be better, he supposed. He quickly scribbled a note -  _ I’ll be back at 10, I left food in the fridge. You’re welcome. Doie  _ \- and stuck it to the fridge.

He drove to the carpark near the mountain. At this time of night, there was nobody there, so with only a torch to accompany him, Doyoung began the long trek up the mountain. The night was fairly cool, not too cold and not too hot. It was calm and peaceful, and Doyoung absolutely loved it. He could feel the long grass crunching under his feet, smell the fresh air, feel the breeze blowing on his face…

His mind wandered to his members, one at a time. Though he spent most of his time with the older members, he still had a soft spot for their youngest, especially Jeno. Jeno reminded Doyoung a lot of himself when he was younger, and he took it upon himself to be there for Jeno, unlike the way that nobody was there for him at that age. In fact, all of the Dream members, he considered his own, even closer than the members his age. They were young yet, and they needed the guidance. Doyoung was happy to provide that for them.

He continued on, his feet absentmindedly taking on the task of guiding him, letting his mind wander towards all the different memories he had with his members. Meeting them, travelling with them, practicing, performing, partying...the list was endless. He was very lucky to be in his group, and for the thousandth time, he thanked everyone he could think of - his parents, Lee Soo Man, their managers, their choreographers - for this opportunity. 

It was almost half past six by the time Doyoung reached his favourite spot. The trek up had taken longer than he thought; it was much more grueling, though he supposed it was because it had been years since he’d climbed up. It was flat, with plenty of rocks spread out around the area to stand or sit on. Doyoung chose a good spot that allowed him to see across the city. The sky was brightening; soon, the sun would rise. Doyoung unpacked his bag, sighing as he saw the boxes. He’d forgotten to remove Jaehyun’s food. He took half of them out, as well as his coffee flask, and began to eat, absolutely starving. 

As the sun rose, illuminating the scenery with its soft rays, Doyoung stared out, his eyes wide in awe. The city was absolutely stunning. He turned on the spot, looking out over the whole of Seoul. He took his phone out of his pocket and took a selfie, with the sun in the background, lighting up his face just right. He’d share that with their fans when he got back to the dorms. He sat back down on the rock, sighing as he stretched. The sun’s rays got brighter as it rose, filling Doyoung with warmth. He lay on the grass, using his bag as a pillow, and closed his eyes, basking in the sunlight.

He must have fallen asleep; the next thing he heard were loud voices of other people coming to sit. He sat up quickly, checking the time; it was almost eight in the morning. He sighed in relief. He had plenty of time to get back down to the dorm. He quickly stood up, packing up the boxes back into his bag, bowing to the other people who were watching him, waiting for him to leave. He hoisted his bag up onto his shoulder and started the trek back down.

Halfway down, he decided to stop at the usual meeting point. There was a bench there for people to rest on, and he sat down, taking out his flask for some coffee. The walk downwards was harder than the walk upwards in his opinion, particularly on his ankles and knees. He took a sip of hot coffee, sighing in relief as he looked out over the city. He glanced at his watch; nine o’clock. The members would be up and about at this time. He smiled. Standing up, he took out his phone to take a few more pictures and selfies to show both the members and the fans. 

His foot knocked the flask of coffee to the floor; its lid skidded off, and coffee poured out all over his feet, the grass and his bag. He cursed and crouched down, grabbing the lid and uprighting the flask before it could empty out completely. He sighed, shaking the flask after it was closed, droplets of coffee spraying everywhere. 

“Kid.” Doyoung froze. He slowly stood up and turned around to see two men standing behind him. One of them was holding a half empty beer bottle, while the other one grinned widely at Doyoung. Doyoung gave a tiny smile in return, fear rising up inside him. Who were they? Why were they talking to him? And why the hell were they drunk at nine in the morning?

“You should bow to your elders,” the beer-bottle man told Doyoung, a smile spreading out across his face. It wasn’t a pretty sight. Doyoung quickly bowed, before turning and shoving the flask in his bag. He pulled the string tight and started to close it, but suddenly he was pushed to the ground. His hand scraped painfully on the rocks, and he couldn’t help but hiss a little in pain. He made to get up, but a foot on his back trapped him in place. The man with the beer bottle crouched down, looking into Doyoung's face. “Listen, pretty boy. My beer is finished. Minjun’s beer is finished. The trouble is, we have no money. But you do. Rich kid like you, professional climbing gear...so. Give us your money, and we’ll leave.”

“I have no money.” 

“Lies! Stop lying!” the other man roared. He took his foot off of Doyoung's back and hauled him up by the back of his jacket. When he spoke, spittle flew into Doyoung's face. “Empty your bag. Now.”

Doyoung stepped forwards as if he was going to do it; in an instant, he snatched up his bag and darted past them. Giving an angry roar, the two men gave chase, and within seconds, Doyoung was back in their grip. Letting out a yell in panic, he struggled, but they were older and bigger than him, and he was alone. “Let me go!”

A fist caught Doyoung in the face; his head flung backwards, and he gasped in pain. “Empty out your fucking bag, kid, or I’ll throw you off this damn mountain.” With shaking fingers, Doyoung opened a small pocket on his bag and removed his wallet. There was no cash in there, just his credit card. The beer bottle man took the card and snorted. “Rich kid with his daddy’s card, huh?”

The other man sighed, turning to the beer bottle man. “Minjun, he doesn’t have money, let’s just go and ask someone else.” Minjun sighed, nodding. Then he smirked. Doyoung held his breath as Minjun flung his credit card back at him. They began walking away, and Doyoung sighed in relief. He turned around, fumbling with his card and wallet, his hands still shaking from the shock. He removed his phone again, switching it with the wallet, sighing in relief that they hadn’t taken it from him. 

A hand around his neck had him gasping for breath. “LET ME GO!” he yelled. 

“We just want some fun…” He could smell the alcohol on the man’s breath. Hands snaked down his body, and Doyoung flailed in the man’s grip, panic rising inside him. This couldn’t be happening. He lashed out, but the other man kicked him in the back of the knees and Doyoung dropped, only being held up by the first man. 

He felt something sharp connect with the side of his face. He cried out in pain as blood dripped down the side of his head; he could feel it in his ear as it dribbled down his face. The bottle landed on the floor, and Doyoung started to cry, overcome with the situation. One of the men shoved him to the floor, and their hands started travelling lower and lower. 

“NO, PLEASE, DON’T…” But Doyoung was helpless. He was completely exposed and vulnerable. And there was nothing he could do about it. 

It seemed like an eternity when they’d finally finished with him. One of them roughly pulled his clothes back on, slapping him as he cried and whimpered in pain. He tried to stand up, but one of the two men landed a kick in his ribs, while the other landed a punch in his face. Doyoung groaned, rolling over onto his side, clutching his phone tightly to his chest as blood spurted out over his face, mingling with blood from his head injury. It was all he could do; his vision was going black. A glob of spit landed next to his face. “Thank you for your help,” one of them said sarcastically. A second kick to his body sent him rolling into the long grass, far away from the path. The other man laughed loudly; it was the last thing Doyoung heard before he lost consciousness.

**********

Jaehyun’s eyes fluttered open early the next morning. He groaned and stretched out on the bed, arching his back. He felt well-rested; it was the best night’s sleep he’d had in a long time. He sighed, lying back down on the bed. He felt for his phone on the nightstand and picked it up, looking at the time. Nine o’clock. His eyes widened. “Shit!”

“Jae, shut up,” Johnny grumbled from his bed, rolling over. Jaehyun scrambled out of bed, ignoring Johnny. He darted into Doyoung's room, but his bed was empty. He glanced out of the window, but Doyoung's car was gone as well. He sighed, wandering into the kitchen. The dorm was silent, as everyone else was still asleep. A note hung on the fridge. He removed the magnet from the note and read it, sighing. 

Doyoung would be back in one hour. He had one hour to make it up to him. Jaehyun quickly dressed before leaving the dorm. First he went to buy coffee; he was still half asleep. Doyoung's favourite cake was chocolate, so Jaehyun set out on a hunt for chocolate cake. It took him half an hour, but he managed to locate a quality shop. Leaving them a message to write on the cake, he left the shop again, going towards his last stop. Doyoung had been looking at a certain ring for a while now, but it was expensive. He was saving up to buy it for himself, but he just didn’t have time to go and get it. Jaehyun thought that it would be a nice gift for Doyoung. He entered the jewellery store and located the ring in question before buying it. He winced at the price, but decided that it was worth it for his best friend. He owed it to Doie for breaking his promise to the elder, anyway.

He went back to collect the cake before driving home. It was almost ten o’clock, so Doyoung would be home soon. He quickly set the cake on the table, explaining to the other members as quickly as he could what he was doing. He put the box with the ring next to the cake, and then sat down on the couch. Taeyong walked into the room a few minutes later, yawning. 

“What’s all this?”

“It’s for Doyoung, it’s an apology for not waking up and going with him,” Jaehyun replied. Taeyong’s eyes widened. 

“You were supposed to go with him?! Wait, did  _ anyone _ go with him?!”

“No, everyone’s here,” Jaehyun replied. Taeyong cuffed him on the back of the head.

“You idiot! You should have gone with him!”

“I know,” Jaehyun sighed, rubbing his head. “I’m sorry. This is my way of apologising.”

“Well, when he gets back, you’d better make sure you apologise properly,” Taeyong replied sternly. “What’s in the box?”

“It’s this ring that he’s wanted to buy for a while,” Jaehyun replied absentmindedly, taking out his phone. It was already a quarter past ten, but Doyoung wasn’t back yet. “I thought I’d get it for him.” 

“That’s very sweet of you,” Taeyong said, sending Jaehyun a curious look as he stood up. “You want breakfast?”

“Nah, I’m good. I’ll eat with Doie when he gets back.” Taeyong shrugged as he left, leaving Jaehyun alone in the sitting room. The others were eating breakfast in the kitchen, the chatter filtering out into the room. Jaehyun fiddled with his phone, his leg shaking up and down in anticipation. He checked his phone again and again, hoping for a message or anything from Doyoung. By the time it was quarter to eleven, the other members had finished eating, but there was still no sign of Doyoung.

“Where’s Doyoung?” Johnny asked, taking a seat next to Jaehyun. The younger shook his head, worry starting to fill him. Doyoung was never late. “He’s never usually late.”

“I’m well aware of that, thank you,” Jaehyun hissed in response. Johnny frowned. 

“Maybe we should go and look for him,” he offered uneasily. “I mean...what if something happened?”

Jaehyun swallowed. If something had happened to Doyoung, it would be all his fault. His fault for making a promise that he couldn’t keep, for not waking up when he knew he should have done. He stood up with a nod. “Yeah. Let’s go.”

“Wait, we gotta tell the others.” Jaehyun shook his head, grabbing his jacket. Johnny gripped his arm, forcing Jaehyun to stop. “Jae. The more help we have, the better. Please. Just wait a minute or two, let me text the group, we’ll all make a plan and we’ll go and find him, ok?” 

Jaehyun waited impatiently as Johnny sent a message to all members. Within ten minutes, a plan was formulated. Johnny, Jaehyun, Kun, Yuta and Lucas would all climb the mountain, as they were the strongest members. Taeyong, Renjun, Ten, Jeno and Chenle would scout out the city just in case Doyoung was out getting food from somewhere. The rest of the members would wait either at the dorms or in their designated practice room in case Doyoung magically showed up there. Kun grabbed water bottles and blankets, as well as a first aid kit, and joined the others in the car.

Jaehyun’s body shook in anticipation and fear; if anything happened to Doyoung, he would never forgive himself. Johnny squeezed his shoulder as they reached a traffic light, trying to calm him down. Kun, Yuta and Lucas in the back all murmured encouraging words and prayers, hoping that Doyoung was ok. 

They soon reached the mountain. Johnny parked up, and everyone tumbled out immediately, pulling on their backpacks and securing their boots. “Look!” Lucas pointed. “Hyung’s car is there.”

Jaehyun paled at the sight of the car. Something was definitely wrong. “Kun, stay here near Doyoung's car in case he decides to come back down a different way,” Johnny ordered. “And call Taeyong and Taeil, tell them both to gather the kids and get them back to the dorms. We know Doyoung is still here. You’re also my point of call if anything else happens, got it?”

Kun nodded, removing his backpack. Yuta took it and shouldered it on his other side, almost overbalancing at the extra weight. “You guys go, don’t waste time. I’ll be here when you get back.” Kun removed his phone, already dialling Taeyong’s number. “Go!”

Johnny led the way up to the start of the trek. The sun was warm, beating down upon them relentlessly, but it didn’t seem to make a difference to the four boys. Each of them were silent, hoping desperately that Doyoung was ok. They walked quickly, Jaehyun in the front, Lucas bringing up the rear. As they reached a flat point about halfway up to rest, Yuta’s eyes caught on something shiny. 

He dropped his bags and walked forwards quickly. It was a credit card. He picked it up.  _ Kim Dongyoung _ . “Guys!” he yelled. Jaehyun snatched the card out of his hand, cursing wildly. 

“Fuck, he’s around here somewhere! Doyoung! DOYOUNG!” 

“Jae, calm down!” Johnny grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him. “Wait, we need to stay together and stay calm.” 

“No, what if he’s hurt? Badly? Then wha-”

“Both of you, shut up!” Yuta put a finger on his lip, holding his phone to his ear. Jaehyun fell silent at once, listening intently. A faint ring could be heard. Yuta walked away from the path a little, ringing the phone again. The others followed, the ringing getting louder. They didn’t have to walk far until they found who they were looking for.

“Doyoung!” Yuta dropped to his knees by Doyoung's side, rolling him over onto his back. Doyoung was unconscious, blood covering the right side of his face and neck. His nose appeared to be broken, and the left side of his jaw was bruised badly. His phone was held loosely in his right hand. Jaehyun let out a choked sob, pushing Yuta away and cradling Doyoung close to him.

“Jae! Don’t move him, he could have internal injuries! We don’t know what’s happened to him,” Johnny quickly reprimanded. 

“Doyoung hyung, please, wake up...I’m here now, I’m sorry...I’m so sorry that I didn’t get up...please, hyung...we’re all here with you, please…” Jaehyun pleaded like a child, ignoring Johnny’s words. Yuta gently wrapped an arm around Jaehyun, trying to comfort him as best as he could.

Lucas snatched up Yuta’s phone and called Kun, talking in rapid Chinese to get the words across. Kun told them he’d get them help, and to stay put. With that done, the four boys could do nothing more than sit and stare at their battered friend, feeling extreme guilt for their actions...or lack thereof.

**********

Lucas paced up and down the hallway of the hospital’s third floor waiting room. It had been a few hours since they’d found Doyoung all bloodied and beaten up. Currently, he was in surgery to fix his broken ribs, which Lucas had overheard before being thrown out of the room. The rest of his members were sitting silently around the waiting room, leaving it unavailable for anyone else to use. Jaehyun had cried himself to sleep on Johnny’s shoulder, surprising most of their members. Jaehyun was one of the strongest people they knew, yet to see him break down that badly...it was unthinkable. 

The others were all sitting down in relative silence, scrolling through their phones or just staring into space, waiting for news on Doyoung. Their managers had come by, first to reprimand them for not going with Doyoung or alerting them when they realised the boy hadn’t come back and second to bring food and clothes for them all. Right now, they had gone to the office, trusting the elder members to take care of the youngest. 

The door opened to admit a doctor. Immediately, the boys stood up, save for Johnny, who shushed the boys from where he sat. “Let Taeil hyung talk, sit down,” he hissed, and the others obeyed immediately. Taeil and Taeyong headed over to the doctor who spoke to them briefly, his eyes on the other members. Taeyong visibly deflated, but the smile on his face when he turned back around had everyone sighing in relief. 

“He’s ok, he’ll be fine,” Taeil spoke, putting an arm around Taeyong. “They’ve fixed up his ribs and the internal bleeding, but there’s a risk of pneumonia because he was out there so early. So they’re keeping him in for a day or two, but they said that the risk is low. Uh...he had glass in the cut on his head, it’s been removed and stitched up. He’s sleeping right now, but the doctor said we can visit him in pairs if we be quiet.”

“Shall I wake Jae up, or…?” Taeyong asked uncertainly, hovering near Johnny and Jaehyun. 

“We can go last, I don’t mind,” Johnny murmured. “You guys go ahead. Take the kids first.” Taeyong nodded, turning back to the rest of the group. 

“Chenle, Jisung, let’s go and visit hyung.” Taeyong led the youngest two out of the room and followed the doctor upstairs.

“I think we’re going to stay here in shifts,” Taeil told them. “We can rotate. Three at a time, that should be fine. The rest of us can stay with the kids at the dorm, distract them.”

“We want to sit with Doyoung hyung too!” Jeno stood up to face Taeil. “He’s our brother too. And don't pull the ‘you're just children’ card on us, because we're old enough to understand the situation, and we're old enough to sit here, so we're old enough to help you all out! We're a team, hyung. Please…” He turned to Johnny, Yuta and Winwin as well for support. 

All four of the elders exchanged uncertain glances. Kun slung an arm around Jeno’s shoulders, standing up as well. “Jeno, you will be helping us. No one said you couldn't see Doyoung, we're just trying to think of the best ways to help him. Your job is to stay at home and look after our youngest. The shifts thing will only be until Doyoung is released from the hospital…” He glanced at the others. Yuta nodded, taking his place on Jeno’s other side.

“Jeno...we are a team. I promise you that we'll handle this like a team. Everyone has their own roles to play, and this time, your job is to be strong for everyone and to look after us. Do you think you can do that?”

“We can,” Renjun and Jaemin said in unison, standing up to join the three boys. “We'll be ‘strong’ and stay out of the way until we're needed.” Jaemin stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him. 

Jaehyun jumped up with a start. Renjun groaned and ran after Jaemin. Jeno pulled away from Kun and followed the two boys.

“Someone go after them and make sure they don't kill each other,” Taeil sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. “I guess we handled this wrong.”

“I'll go.” Winwin stood up and followed them out quickly. Silence reigned in the waiting room for a moment, the remaining members looking around at each other uncertainly. 

“Who...who could’ve done such a thing to Doyoung hyung?” Haechan asked, his voice almost a whisper. “How...the injuries are so...bad…” he struggled to find the right words. Jaehyun slammed his fist into the wall, garbled sounds escaping from his mouth. 

“I’m gonna find that motherfucker and I’m going to...I’m gonna…I’ll,” he stammered. Johnny gave a resigned sigh and stood up, pulling Jaehyun back down to his seat. 

“Jae, please. Calm down. We’ll find him, we’ll find whoever did this and we’ll make sure he pays. Just...we don’t want you in the hospital too.” Jaehyun sat down hard, his leg shaking up and down as he tried to contain his anger. Bruises bloomed across his knuckles but they didn’t seem to faze him.

Over the next hour, the boys took turns to go and visit Doyoung. Johnny, Jaehyun and Mark went last, leaving the others to go home as they offered to take on the first shift. Taeil, Kun and Jungwoo would come and relieve them in a few hours after making sure everyone at home was ok. 

Jaehyun hesitated at the door. He was sort of scared of seeing Doyoung. This was all his fault, and he wasn’t sure if he was up to seeing Doyoung. He didn’t want to see the damage he had caused. “Jae.” Mark squeezed his shoulder. “Hyung, you’re strong. Doyoung hyung will be fine. You can do this.” Jaehyun looked between Mark and Johnny, who both looked back with supportive smiles. Jaehyun took a deep breath and opened the door.

Doyoung was lying in the bed, surrounded by tubes. A needle in his hand linked to an almost-empty IV drip, pumping drugs into his bloodstream. On his right side, there was a clip, measuring his heart rate through his finger. An oxygen mask covered his nose and mouth, and his head was bandaged up tightly, slightly bloodstained. Jaehyun sat down in the chair and gently squeezed his hand. “Doie...I’m sorry,” he said, clearing his throat. “This is my fault...if only I’d woken up and come with you…” 

**********

Doyoung was in pain. He could feel it. His head hurt. His body hurt. His legs hurt. Why was he hurting? What had he done? It was dark, too. Why was it so dark? He tried to open his eyes, but they seemed glued shut. Voices jumbled together, hurting his ears, and he tried to lift his hands to cover them, but they seemed weighed down. 

The next time he became aware of something, he realised someone was talking to him. He knew that voice; it was familiar. He tried to focus on it… “Doie...I’m sorry…” the person was saying. Sorry? Sorry for what? Doyoung was confused. “This is my fault...if only I’d woken up and come with you…” What was his fault? What had happened?

“You wouldn’t be here right now if it wasn’t for me, Doie.” Wait. Doie. Only one person called him Doie...that was Jaehyun. Why was Jaehyun sorry? Where was he? Doyoung had to wake up. Pain throbbed across his whole body, but he didn’t care. With a gasp, his eyes shot open, his legs kicking out. He felt his foot come into contact with something, and he was dimly aware of someone crying out in pain. His breathing was laboured from the effort. His hand was squeezed tighter, and he could hear voices...it was bright, too bright.

He shut his eyes again to shield them from the light and tried to speak, but something was stopping him. He tried to move his hand, but his arms felt weighed down. He tried to speak, but his voice wasn’t coming out. Frustrated, he let out a grunt. “Doie!” Jaehyun was speaking to him. “Don’t speak. Don’t move. Wait, we’ll get the doctor…” 

He felt Jaehyun try to pull away, but Doyoung suddenly didn’t want to be left alone. Using all of his strength, he squeezed onto Jaehyun’s hand, who immediately stopped trying to resist. He opened his eyes again to see Mark and Johnny also present, the latter holding a hand to his hip. “I’ll go,” Mark offered, and Jaehyun nodded in relief. The youngest left the room. 

“How are you feeling, Doyoung?” Johnny asked. “You still seem to have you strength - that kick hurt!”

Doyoung attempted to smile, but a shooting pain in his head caused him to grimace. “What...happened…” he tried to say, but it came out sounding more like grunts. He released Jaehyun’s hand and tried to lift it to his face. 

“Are you asking what happened?” Johnny asked in confusion. Doyoung blinked slowly in an affirmative, frustrated that he couldn’t communicate or talk. He saw Johnny and Jaehyun exchange glances, unsure of how much to tell him. “You...you were attacked.”

Attacked? Sudden memories of the men came flooding back to him, flashing across his eyes. The kick, the punches, the smash of glass in his head, the-...he gasped, his eyes wide with panic. “Doyoung! Doyoung, Doyoung, it’s ok! You’re safe now, you’re safe, we’re here…” Johnny moved to his other side and gently stroked a hand through his hair as Jaehyun tightened his grip, squeezing every so often. Tears leaked out of Doyoung's eyes, but he felt calmer in their presence. The door opened again to admit Mark and a doctor, whose eyes crinkled as she took in the boys. Mark took a seat near the foot of the bed, putting his hand on Doyoung's leg. 

“Good evening, Mr Kim. Nice to see you awake.” She smiled. “I’m going to remove your oxygen mask and then we’ll get some fluids in you, ok?” Doyoung blinked once and she moved forward, taking off the mask from his face. She handed Johnny a cup of ice chips, and Doyoung opened his mouth, allowing him to spoon in a few while she took notes on a clipboard. “Is that better?” she asked him as he swallowed, feeling the coolness against the back of his throat.

“Yes,” he rasped out. “Hurts.” 

“It hurts? On a scale of one to ten, how much does it hurt?” she asked. Doyoung thought for a moment.

“Seven.” Jaehyun frowned, but the doctor smiled widely as she took notes on her clipboard.

“Very good.” She turned to Johnny, Jaehyun and Mark. “I’m really pleased with his progress. The pain is to be expected, but he’s awake much earlier than I thought he would be. He’s a fighter.” She flipped a page on her clipboard. “I’ll ask the nurses to change the mask to breathing tubes. He still needs the extra oxygen, but now that he’s more conscious, there’s no need for the mask.”

“And his head? And ribs?”

“His ribs will be tender for a while, four to six weeks. I’m going to say four weeks for Doyoung, considering his recovery time, but of course, anything can happen. His head, the stitches will dissolve when it is time. It was a bad cut, so it could be up to a month, but again, we’ll see.” She turned to Doyoung. “Mr Kim, I’ll change your IV drip before I leave. I suggest you get some rest.”

“What about food?” Jaehyun asked.

“He’s too tired to eat right now, look.” True to her words, Doyoung's eyes were fluttering closed already; he was too exhausted to stay awake any longer. “When he wakes up next, we’ll try and give him something to eat. For now, stick with the ice chips if he wants them. I’ll just change the drip and then get the oxygen tubes administered.” She bowed before leaving. 

Jaehyun sighed in relief, watching the steady rise and fall of Doyoung's chest. “I’m so glad that he’s ok.”

“Listen, Jae, it wasn’t your fault,” Johnny replied, keeping his hand running through Doyoung's hair. “Please, don’t blame yourself. I’m sure Doie won’t blame you either.” 

“I just...can’t help but think that I could’ve protected him if I went with him.” Mark rolled his eyes.

“Hyung, seriously. Sometimes these things happen. It’s unfortunate that it was to one of ours...but like the doctor said, Doyoung hyung is strong. He’s safe and sound and with all of us and that’s all that matters. Don’t think about what could have been, because it’s what  _ is _ that matters now.” He flushed suddenly as Johnny and Jaehyun both turned to look at him. “I’ll just...uh...yeah…” he scrambled up and left the room, prompting the two elder members to laugh softly.

“Mark is smarter than he looks,” Johnny said with a grin. Jaehyun rolled his eyes.

“Anyone’s smarter than you.”

“You really wanna go there, bro?” 

“Let’s wait for Doie to recover. He can be the referee.” Jaehyun smirked as he fistbumped Johnny. Mark returned five minutes later, his face less red, to see Johnny and Jaehyun overcome with laughter.

**********

The next two days were hard. The boys rotated every few hours, giving each other a respite from looking after Doyoung. Even the younger boys, after their rather abrupt outburst, were allowed to take turns, provided they did not disturb Doyoung. Doyoung had come off the oxygen and he’d had his dressings changed twice already. The bruising around his face was starting to darken, and the marks around his ribs, too, but it was still painful to move.

Doyoung was finally leaving the hospital. He had been advised to stay longer, but what he hated more than anything was to be idle and not have anything to do or be allowed to go anywhere. Still, he couldn’t bring himself to be excited. His mind was fixated on what had happened to him. Over and over again, the memory played itself in his head. As far as he knew, neither the doctor nor the members knew that part of it, and he hoped that that was how it stayed. 

“Mr Kim.”

“Doyoung,” Doyoung sighed, slowly bending forwards and putting up his leg to try and tie his shoelaces, wincing in pain. “How many times do I have to tell you?”

“Fine, Doyoung,” Dr Lee amended, smiling. “I...before we’re allowed to let you go,” she began, crouching down in front of him and helping him to tie his laces, “you need to talk to the police.”

Doyoung's eyes met the doctors. “What? What for?! I didn’t do anything wrong!” Images started flashing through his head, and his grip on the edge of the bed tightened.

“No, no, it’s not because you did anything wrong,” she said hastily, standing back up. “It’s...so they can find out who did this to you.” Doyoung's eyes became hard as he stared back at the doctor. 

“I…”

“I’ve held them off for as long as possible, but if you’re well enough to leave, then you’re well enough to talk them.” She opened the door again to admit two police officers. Both walked in, bowing slightly. Doyoung stared at them suspiciously, unsure of what would happen. Ever since he’d woken up after the first day, he’d refrained from talking about it. He knew that his members were desperate to know what had happened, but he didn’t want them to worry. So he’d refrained from even thinking about it. But seeing the two officers in his room made everything more real again. 

“Dr Lee, please leave.” Doyoung looked up with panicked eyes at the doctor, but she just bowed apologetically and left the room. Doyoung took in a deep breath, ignoring the sharp pain in his ribs. He gently turned around and leaned back against the pillows, finding a comfortable position, ignoring the impatient looks that the officers shot him. 

“Mr Kim. I’m Officer Choi, and this is Officer Shin. We won’t take up too much of your time. Can you tell us what happened?”

“I…” Doyoung closed his eyes, trying to remember. “I went up to the top of the mountain because I wanted to watch the sunset. After the sun rose, I stayed up at the top for maybe two hours? And then...I started to leave...I got halfway down, and sat on the bench. And then these two men came...they started harassing me for money. I gave them my credit card so they would leave me alone, but...but they didn’t take it. I thought they left so I tried to put my things back but then one of them threw his bottle at my head.” Doyoung reached up unconsciously, running his fingers across the scar. “And then…” he hesitated, wondering how much to tell them. “Then they started kicking me, hitting me, I’m not exactly sure. I blacked out. And then I woke up here. It hurt...a lot…”

“Why was there nobody with you?” Officer Choi asked. Doyoung finally opened his eyes. 

“Because it was early and I didn’t want to wake anyone up. We were all tired from practice the previous day.” He wasn’t going to drop Jaehyun in it; it wasn’t his fault. 

“Why didn’t you wait?”

“Because, like I said, I wanted to watch the sunrise,” Doyoung replied, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. 

“What did the men look like?”

“Um…” Doyoung shut his eyes again, trying to remember. Images flashed through his head, and he felt the beginnings of a headache start to build up behind his temples. His chest felt oddly constricted. “I...one was short…” he mumbled. “I don’t know...Minjun?” he added as the name came back to his head. “One was called Minjun.” 

“Which one?”

“I told you, I don’t know,” Doyoung muttered through gritted teeth.

“Mr Kim, we have to go through this once again.” Officer Shin cleared his throat. “Tell us what happened.”

“I’ve already told you everything I know,” Doyoung shot back. He was finding it difficult to breathe; the images of his assailants became clearer in his mind. He gasped, clutching at his chest. “Please…”

“Tell us!” Officer Shin roared, slamming his hand on the bedside table.

“What is going on?!” Jaehyun yelled. Doyoung's eyes snapped open; he hadn’t hear the door open. Jaehyun rushed to his side. “Doie, you ok?” 

“I...can’t…” Doyoung struggled to get the words out. His head was swimming and he couldn’t see and he couldn’t breathe and he didn’t know anything. He felt strong arms encircle him; he was dimly aware of Johnny talking to him. When had Johnny come in? Doyoung's head was against Johnny’s chest; he could hear his heartbeat. 

“Doyoung hyung, listen to me,” someone was saying. Was that Jeno? What was Jeno doing here? “I want you to focus on my voice. And I need you to breathe. You’re safe, it’s ok. Johnny hyung is here, and Jaehyun hyung is here, and I’m here, and the others are waiting. Everyone’s waiting for you.” Jeno leaned forward and gripped Doyoung's hands. “Breathe in. One...two...ok, that’s good. Now breathe out...one...two…” 

It took over fifteen minutes, but Doyoung eventually calmed down. He was tired, so tired. His face was damp from sweat and tears, but Jeno and Johnny had not let him go. His head was pounding and he just wanted to sleep…

“Doyoung hyung.” He lazily opened his eyes to see Jaehyun standing over him. Jeno let go of his hands and moved over; Doyoung's hands were suddenly cold. “How long were they here with you?”

“Um…about fifteen minutes,” he murmured. 

“I’m sorry that we weren’t here with you.”

“Jae, stop apologising,” Doyoung rolled his eyes, then winced as more pain shot through his head. “It wasn’t your fault. Anyway, they even kicked Doctor Lee out. Wait.” He tried to sit up, and Johnny reluctantly let him go. “Where is Doctor Lee?”

“She went to shout at the officers,” Jaehyun said smugly. Doyoung cleared his throat. 

“Does that mean I can go?”

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay longer?” Jeno asked worriedly. 

“No. I want to go. Please.” Doyoung forced himself up, stumbling a little; immediately, Jaehyun wrapped himself around Doyoung, supporting the older boy. 

“Careful, Doie. We don’t want you back in here with a broken leg this time.” Doyoung attempted to smile, then winced as more pain shot through his ribs. Slowly, they left the room. Cheers erupted as they reached the waiting room at the end of the corridor. Doyoung winced, covering his ears with his hands.

“What are you guys all doing here?” he asked as Jisung and Chenle came bounding over to him, wrapping him in a hug. It hurt, but Doyoung didn’t have the energy to even complain. 

“We came to see our favourite hyung,” Jisung told him innocently. 

“You only like me because I buy you food.”

“That’s why you’re our favourite. Ten hyung’s been starving us.” Chenle yelped as Ten chased him towards the door before tackling him to the ground. Doyoung forced a smile, feeling tiredness wash over him. 

“Let’s go home,” Jaehyun murmured, squeezing Doyoung's waist. 

**********

“I need to shower,” Doyoung mumbled. He was sitting on the couch with Jaemin on one side and Jeno on the other in the spare practice room under their dorms. These two were currently on duty, and so far they hadn’t even let him move. All of the members had rotated between practice and watching him all day; he felt guilty, but none of them, especially Jaehyun, listened to his protests of being left alone. They preferred to practice rather than go on holiday, so there they were. 

“You need to rest,” Jeno replied firmly.

“Jeno, please, I’m not a child, and I still smell like the hospital room,” Doyoung pleaded. “Come on, I don’t need a babysitter. I’ll be fine, you won’t even know I was gone. I’ll be back in half an hour.” Doyoung slowly pushed himself up before either of the two could reply, gritting his teeth at the pain. He cursed, not for the first time, at Minjun and his friend, for the pain they’d caused him. 

“Hyung, maybe you should wait-” 

“Jaemin, I’m fine!” Doyoung burst out, louder than he intended to. “For God’s sake, I’m not disabled!” He turned around, glaring at the younger two. “Just let me be! I’m going for a damn shower so I can feel human again, I’m not about to run off into the sunset!”

He hobbled out of the door, leaving the practice room and walking towards the lift which would take them up to the dorms. The effort to walk here had already tired him out, but he refused to back down now, not after he had shouted at Jaemin and Jeno. He felt guilty, but there was nothing he could do about it now. The damage had been done, anyway. 

Twenty minutes later, he was standing under the hot spray. The water beat down onto his body, and he could feel the tension draining away from his muscles. He slowly sank down, unable to hold his weight up any longer; he was tired. Tears suddenly built up and streamed down his face. Doyoung didn’t know exactly why he was crying. He was crying because he felt useless. He was crying because he was weak. He was crying because he couldn’t look after himself. He was crying because he couldn’t be strong for the other members like he should have been. 

The water started to get cold before Doyoung realised he had to get up. He slowly pulled himself up, gritting his teeth against the cold spray and the pain in his body, which seemed to have intensified. He finally managed to turn the shower off, panting heavily. His arms seemed to lose their strength, but he lunged forward, gripping the edge of the sink tightly to keep himself upright. 

It was a shock to see himself in the mirror. It was the first time he had seen his face in the mirror in a long time. He looked pale and drawn. His eyes drifted to the the side of his head, where a long row of stitches curved across his forehead and down his cheek. He reached up a shaking hand, tracing the stitches and wincing. 

And then suddenly he could his attackers in front of him. They were coming towards him, waving their fists and their bottle at him. He could feel the impact on his head, the grip on his arm, their hands on his body. He fell backwards, screaming. “NO! STOP, PLEASE, I DON’T HAVE ANY! PLEASE!”

**********

“JAEHYUN HYUNG!” Jeno bellowed, tearing down the stairs four at a time. “HYUNG!” he burst through the door, skidding to a halt beside Jaehyun, who was in the middle of drinking water. “It’s...Doyoung…” Jeno panted. “Come...quick...he….shower…dorm...”

Jaehyun was already running before Jeno had even got the words out. Jeno leaned over, panting for breath, his heart racing in fear. “What happened, Jeno?” Donghyuck asked, handing him Jaehyun’s abandoned water bottle. 

“Doyoung hyung wanted a shower, but Nana and I weren’t sure if we should let him go,” Jeno explained to the room in a rush, taking a gulp of water. “He got angry at us and left anyway, so we let him go, but we went upstairs to the dorm after ten minutes just in case anything happened. And then we heard screaming and I banged on the door and called him but he didn’t respond, he was just screaming and crying and then Jaemin tried to open the door but it was locked. So I ran to get Jae hyung, because he’ll know what to do.” 

“I’ll go and see if he needs more help,” Johnny said quietly. Taeyong nodded as the older man ran, heading back upstairs. 

“You did well, Jeno hyung.” Donghyuck patted him on the shoulder, and Jeno smiled a little. 

“I’m just scared. I hope he’s ok.”

“He’ll be fine, don’t worry. Doie is strong.” Yuta smiled at them. “Now, come on. Let’s go back upstairs to your dorm, Taeyong and I will cook.”

“Huh?”

“We’re going to cook, Taeyong. Come on, kids!” Yuta was already dragging Taeyong out of the door and up the stairs. “It’s a distraction, idiot,” he hissed. “They need space.”

“But I want to see how he is!”

“You can see him later, we have to babysit for now.” 

“Do you think Johnny and Jaehyun can handle Doyoung?” Taeyong asked worriedly, opening the door to the Dreamies’ dorm. Yuta nodded vigorously, shoving Taeyong further into the dorm towards the kitchen. 

“Yes.”

**********

But in fact, Yuta was wrong. It had been nearly ten minutes since Johnny had managed to take apart the lock to the bathroom, and Doyoung still hadn’t gotten up. He was covered in Jaehyun’s jacket to protect his modesty, but the two of them hadn’t been able to calm Doyoung down. His breathing had slowed down, but he was still crying, and it scared Johnny to see him like this. Doyoung was one of the strongest members, the one who took care of everyone else, and yet here he was, broken down into tiny bits. He felt a surge of anger run through him as he watched Jaehyun cradle Doyoung in his arms, clenching his fists. The people who did this to him would pay.

It took another twenty minutes to get Doyoung up and dressed. Johnny carried him on his back to his room, and it was when he finally left the room after Doyoung fell asleep that Jaehyun broke down too. Johnny swallowed back his own fear and took Jaehyun in his arms, sighing softly. He managed to manoeuvre them downstairs, allowing Jaehyun to cling more comfortably onto him. “Why is it Doie?” Jaehyun cried. “It should have been me. I should have taken it in his place...I should have gone with him, then this wouldn’t have happened…”

“Jae, we’ve been through this, come on now,” Johnny replied gently. “It wasn’t anyone’s fault, and there’s nothing achieved by playing the blame game. Please...Doyoung doesn’t blame you, so don’t blame yourself. Come on. We have to be strong for Doyoung, right?” he asked. Jaehyun sniffled slowly, sitting up and grimacing at the wet patch on Johnny’s shirt.

“I guess.” He cleared his throat. “Hyung....how can I be strong when Doie is my strength?”

“What are you saying, Jaehyun?” Johnny asked, dabbing at his shoulder. “You can be strong. If you show that you’re ok, then Doyoung will be able to heal much quicker. He wouldn’t want you to blame yourself.”

“I’m in love with him,” Jaehyun blurted out. A smashing of a glass caught both of their attention, and Jaehyun scrambled up, darting into the kitchen. Glass fragments spilled across the floor, surrounding Jeno, who was standing closest to the door. His mouth was open in shock, and he glanced at the elder two boys as they came in. 

“Uh...I’m stuck?” Jeno asked, flushing red. Johnny sighed as Jaemin burst out laughing, banging his head on the kitchen table. He held out his hand and Jeno took it, jumping over the glass, letting Johnny pull him forwards into safety. 

“Get the broom, clean this up and then come inside,” Johnny told him. “Both of you.” Jaehyun followed Johnny back inside, leaving the younger two inside.

“Hyung…”

“What?” Johnny snapped irritably, rubbing a hand over his face. Jaehyun flinched away from him, and Johnny sighed. “Listen, Jae. I’m genuinely happy for you. I’m glad, actually. You and Doyoung are good for each other. Especially after what you just said, you need to be strong for him, ok? You can do this, I believe in you.” Jaehyun smiled, which faded rapidly as Jeno and Jaemin came inside.

“Listen up, you two,” Jaehyun started. “Whatever you saw, whatever you heard, it didn’t happen. Got it?”

“If  _ anyone _ , and I mean anyone, hears about anything you guys heard, you’d better watch out. Understand?” Johnny added, staring down at the two of them. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Jaemin replied, putting on an innocent voice. 

“I seem to have a blank in my memory of the last half an hour,” Jeno added. Jaehyun smiled in relief, rolling his eyes.

“Good. Now that’s settled...Doyoung hyung is fine. He’s sleeping right now, so you guys might want to go and relax, and let the others know as well. Where is everyone, actually?”

“Taeyong hyung and Yuta hyung cooked, they’re all in our dorm,” Jaemin replied. “We already ate, but we came back just to check on Doyoung hyung.” 

“I’ll grab us some food then and take the kids back,” Johnny told Jaehyun. “Relax.”

“We’re not kids!”

**********

Doyoung woke up the next morning to sunlight filtering through the curtains. It was bright and early, but he felt like absolute crap. He was hurting all over, and he felt hot and cold and prickly all at once. His throat was dry, but he didn’t have the energy to get up and find water. He opened his mouth once, twice, three times, but no sound came out. 

“Doie?” he heard someone mumbled. Doyoung shifted, and a gasp of pain escaped his mouth as he aggravated his ribs. “Doyoung hyung!” In an instant, Jaehyun was by his side, holding a water bottle. Doyoung opened his mouth, tears pooling in his eyes from the pain, and Jaehyun gently held up his head, allowing him to drink. “How are you feeling?”

“Cold.” He thought for a moment. “Hot.” He pouted, and Jaehyun laughed. “I’m hurting.” Then he frowned. “What are you doing here?”

“I swapped with Mark,” he explained. “I’m keeping an eye on you from now on, since Nana and Jeno couldn’t do a proper job.” Doyoung's eyes widened as he recalled the previous night, and panic flooded through him. 

“No…”

“Hyung? Hyung, you’re safe, it’s just me, look at me,” Jaehyun said quickly, patting Doyoung's arm and forcing him to look at him. Jaehyun rubbed the back of Doyoung's hands in a way that always calmed him down, waiting for Doyoung's breathing to even out again. He put a hand to Doyoung's forehead, then frowned. “Hyung, you’re burning up.” He stood up, and Doyoung grabbed his hand, shaking his head a little. “Hey, I’ll be back, ok? I just need to find Johnny hyung, I’ll be back. I promise I’m not going to leave you.” Reluctantly, Doyoung let him go. 

“Johnny?” Jaehyun called, gently pushing open the door. Johnny was asleep, but a single nudge from Jaehyun had him awake almost instantly. “I’m sorry...Doie’s awake.” Johnny sat up, glancing over at Mark, who was sleeping in Jaehyun’s bed. 

“How is he?”

“He’s got a fever, it’s pretty bad, I’m worried.” Johnny frowned and slipped out of bed. They headed back to Doyoung, who immediately grabbed Jaehyun’s hand and squeezed it tightly. Johnny pointedly ignored the gesture and sat down next to Doyoung, carding his fingers through Doyoung's hair. 

“How are you feeling?”

“I’m hurting, hyung,” Doyoung pouted. “Can you take it away?”

“I’ll see what I can do, Doyoung,” Johnny replied, trying not to smile. Doyoung's eyes started to close, and Johnny sighed, turning to Jaehyun, who was still holding Doyoung's hand. “Jae, I’m going to get a thermometer, we need to check how high the fever is. If it’s too high...we might have to send him back to the hospital,” he added in a lower voice.

“No!” Doyoung sat up straight away, his eyes wide in panic and fear. He ripped his hand from Jaehyun’s and huddled into himself. “Please...I don’t want to go back…”

“Nobody’s sending you anywhere,” Johnny said hastily. “I just need to check your fever.” Doyoung nodded fearfully, watching Johnny as he backed away and left the room. Doyoung was terrified. He didn’t want to leave his room any longer. He didn’t want to go by himself. It was lonely in the hospital. Here, he had Jaehyun and Johnny and Mark and his members. It was safe with them. In the hospital, there was nobody else. 

Johnny came back a few moments later with a thermometer and a cold towel. Doyoung opened his mouth obediently as Johnny came forwards. The elder frowned as he read the temperature. “Thirty nine point one. If it gets any higher, we’re gonna have to call the doctor…”

Jaehyun carded his fingers through Doyoung's hair, soothing him. “‘M sorry…” Doyoung mumbled, whimpering at the pain. His head hurt and his nose hurt and his ribs hurt and his legs were aching. “I’m sorry, I’ll be good, I promise…” He clumsily tried to wipe off the tears. “Please...don’t send me back there...please…don’t hurt me...”

“We won’t, Doie,” Jaehyun mumbled. He reached for the cold towel and placed it across Doyoung's forehead. The sick boy groaned at the coolness against his skin. Johnny stood up, holding up the thermometer. 

“Jae, I’m going to go and see the manager about this. I’ll send one of the others up with ice water, you’re going to need it with the way he’s burning up. I’ll see if we can get someone to send up broth or something light as well, he needs to eat.”

“Wait.” Jaehyun removed the towel and turned it over. Doyoung’s eyes remained closed, and Jaehyun breathed a sigh of relief. “Come outside a minute.” Johnny followed Jaehyun outside. 

“What’s up?”

“Did you hear what hyung just said?” Jaehyun asked. Johnny shrugged. “He said...he said that he’ll be good. What does that mean? He said he doesn’t want to go back to the hospital. He asked me not to hurt him.”

“It’s probably just the fever talking,” Johnny replied. “Don’t worry too much about it.” 

“If you’re sure,” Jaehyun said uneasily, and Johnny smiled at him.

“Go and look after Doyoung. I’ll be back soon.”

Jaehyun nodded and went back inside to Doyoung. He pressed the towel against Doyoung’s  clammy skin, squeezing his hand. His eyes had drifted shut already, but he was restless. Jaehyun carefully detached his hand from Doie’s, sighing.

“I’m sorry, Doie. I don’t know how many times I’ve said this already. I’m sorry that it was you. I’m sorry...that I didn’t go. It’s all my fault.” He sighed. “You know, the day you went, I woke up in the morning. And when I realised you went, I thought I could make it up to you. I bought coffee and chocolate cake...and that ring that you wanted. I thought I would surprise you with it, because it’s what you deserve and more. It’s my way of making up for not listening to you. I’m so stupid.”

A soft knock on the door interrupted Jaehyun’s monologue, and Donghyuck entered holding a bowl filled with ice. “Johnny hyung sent me with more ice water.” Donghyuck set it on Doyoung's bedside table. “How is he?”

“He’s...not so good,” Jaehyun sighed. “He’s got a fever. I think it’s partly because he had a cold shower yesterday, and he didn’t eat before he passed out...and his body is exhausted too.”

“He passed out?!”

“Hyuck, Hyuck, relax,” Jaehyun said quickly. “He’s fine. But anyway...Johnny hyung said that if the fever increases then they’ll have to send him back to the hospital. But he doesn’t want to go, so it’s my job to keep the fever down.”

“Our job.”

“Hm?”

Donghyuck pulled Jaehyun up and sat down, taking the towel from his hands and dipping it into the water. “It’s my turn to take care of hyung. You go and eat and rest for a little bit, I’m sure you haven’t slept properly last night.” 

“Hyuck...are you sure?” Jaehyun asked uncertainly.

“Jaehyun hyung. We’re a team. How many times do we have to go through this?” Donghyuck replaced the towel on Doyoung's head, who groaned in his sleep but did not stir. He turned after a minute to see Jaehyun still standing there. “Hyung! Leave!”

“Ok, ok, I’m going!” Jaehyun hastily left, laughing a little. Donghyuck was a force to be reckoned with at times. He shut the door and walked back towards his own room, looking for a change of clothes. He bumped into Mark, who was just leaving. “Hyung is fine, before you ask,” Jaehyun told him before Mark could open his mouth. “Donghyuck is with him.”

“Is that really wise?” Mark snorted, following Jaehyun into the kitchen. 

“When the devil himself tells you to leave, you don’t question him.” Mark chuckled.

A knock on the door interrupted their conversation, and Jaehyun left to open the door. “Oh! Hello, hyung,” he bowed quickly. Kyungsoo smiled, shaking Jaehyun’s hand. “Come in, hyung.” 

Kyungsoo stepped through into the dorm. “How are you, Jaehyun?”

“I’m ok, hyung. What brings you here?”

Kyungsoo held up a bag in his hand. “A little birdie told me that your Doyoung was ill. I came by with a special broth of mine for him, if that’s ok?”

“Of course! But he’s sleeping right now...or he was when I left him five minutes ago.”

“It’s best eaten while it’s still hot.” Kyungsoo smiled and handed Jaehyun the bag. “What happened? Fever?” Jaehyun hesitated. How much did Kyungsoo know? And did he trust the older man enough?

Of course he did! This was Kyungsoo, for God’s sake. He wouldn’t go and tell anyone else. And even if he did, it would not spread far. “You’d better sit down, it’s a bit of a long story.” Kyungsoo followed Jaehyun into the kitchen, where the other members were eating breakfast.

After exchanging greetings, the other members left, leaving Kyungsoo and Jaehyun alone. Kyungsoo declined the younger’s offer of breakfast, sitting down. “So, a few days ago, Doyoung hyung said that he wanted to climb up Bukhansan and watch the sunrise,” Jaehyun started, taking a mouthful of cereal. “Nobody wanted to go with him as we were all tired from promotions and practice...but I said I’d go with him.” He swallowed hard. “But on the actual day, I didn’t wake up. Doie tried to wake me, but I didn’t. He left a note for us, though, and said he’d be back at ten. But ten o’clock came and went, and it was almost eleven o’clock by the time we realised something was wrong. So we went to look for him, and we found him...beaten up...all bloody...it was horrible. To see your best friend lying there, looking dead...it was horrific.”

Kyungsoo listened sympathetically, patting Jaehyun’s hand every so often. Jaehyun continued to talk, telling him the extent of Doyoung's injuries and about how they’d looked after him, about his panic attacks and his seeming sudden refusal to be left alone, or to go back to the hospital. “I’m glad that you trust me enough to tell me all of this,” Kyungsoo said after Jaehyun was finished. 

“There’s no reason for me not to trust you, hyung.” 

“I hope you’re not blaming yourself for what happened.”

Jaehyun met Kyungsoo’s eyes. “I’m trying not to, but it’s hard,” he sighed. “I mean...I’ve had this conversation so many times since it happened already. Even Doie doesn’t blame me, but I can’t help but think that it  _ was _ my fault. I should have gone with him, but I didn’t wake up and the fact is, if I was there, I could have protected him.”

Kyungsoo sighed. “Still. What matters is that you protect him now and take care of him right at this moment. If Doyoung isn’t blaming you, then it means there’s no reason for you to blame yourself, at least not at this current moment. What’s more important right now?”

“Doyoung,” Jaehyun said firmly.

“HYUNGS! SOMEONE, COME QUICKLY, DOYOUNG HYUNG LOCKED HIMSELF IN THE BATHROOM!”

Jaehyun was already up and running, Kyungsoo hot on his heels. Donghyuck stood near the bathroom door, his eyes wide. “What happened?!” Jaehyun demanded, grabbing Donghyuck by the shoulders. 

“Jaehyun!” Kyungsoo stepped in between them. “Calm down. Go downstairs and find your manager.”

“Hyung, but…” Jaehyun trailed off, noticing the look in Kyungsoo’s eyes. He sighed, then turned away. 

“Hello, hyung,” Donghyuck bowed.

“Are you ok?” Donghyuck nodded. “What happened?”

“One of the managers came to check on Doyoung hyung, and he said his temperature was getting really high, so they’d have to send him to the hospital. I was telling Taeil hyung about it, but Doyoung hyung overhead, and he started panicking when I came back inside after Taeil hyung went. I tried to calm him down, but I couldn’t do it, and he spilled water everywhere and ran off into the bathroom and he won’t come out,” Donghyuck was near crying by the end of it. “Hyung, I don’t know what to do, please…”

“Has he locked himself in here before?” Kyungsoo asked. Donghyuck nodded.

“Yes, yesterday night, he came for a shower and ended up panicking and screaming, so Johnny hyung and Jaehyun hyung had to open the door, I don’t know how, though.”

“I can try and open it from here,” Kyungsoo bent down to examine the lock. “I’ll need something small to shimmy it open, though.” Donghyuck nodded and hurried off into the nearest room. Taeil’s keys were lying on the bedside table, and he snatched them up, thrusting them back at Kyungsoo. 

Kyungsoo had already managed to turn the lock halfway with his bare hand, but he was struggling to turn it all the way. He jammed the side of the key into the dip in the lock and used it as a lever, twisting it all the way. The lock gave, and he pushed open the door. “Wait here, please. I think it’s best if I go in myself,” he told Donghyuck, who nodded resolutely.

“NO!” Doyoung screamed, and Kyungsoo almost recoiled at the force of his voice. Doyoung was slumped in the shower, fully clothed, with water beating down on his body. The way that he was sitting suggested that he had fallen, rather than chosen to sit there. He was shivering, and he looked absolutely exhausted. Kyungsoo winced inwardly as he caught sight of Doyoung’s face; it was a mess. He had gotten the rundown from Jaehyun, but it looked worse than he had ever imagined. Those people had really done a number on him. Kyungsoo felt anger surge up inside of him, but he pushed it down again; there would be time for anger later.

“Doyoung, it’s Kyungsoo hyung,” Kyungsoo called loudly, stepping into the bathroom and shutting the door behind him. He held up his hands, keeping them where Doyoung could see them. 

“Please don’t hurt me, I’m sorry, please, I’ll give you everything…”

“I won’t hurt you,” Kyungsoo said calmly. What the hell had happened to Doyoung to make him like this? His heart broke into a million pieces at seeing the younger boy like this. 

“Please…”

“I won’t hurt you. I want to help you.” Kyungsoo walked towards the shower and reached for the knob, turning it off, ignoring the whimper Doyoung gave. “Can you stand?”

“N-no, please, don’t make me…” Doyoung was shivering now, and up close, Kyungsoo could see that his eyes were glazed over. He honestly didn’t know what to do. 

“It’s ok, you don’t have to stand, nobody is making you, it’s ok…” Kyungsoo took a deep breath. “Can I sit with you?”

Doyoung turned his eyes to Kyungsoo, wide with fear. “Will you touch me?”

What? Kyungsoo fought hard to keep his face calm. “No, Doyoung. I’ll keep my hands in front of me. If you don’t want me to touch you, I won’t, I promise you.” Doyoung stared at Kyungsoo for a moment before moving over, groaning in pain. Kyungsoo clambered into the shower, making sure that Doyoung could see him at all times, ignoring the feeling of the cold water on his dry clothes.

“Hyung…” Doyoung laid his head on Kyungsoo’s shoulder. “It hurts...why does it hurt?”

“What hurts, Doyoung?” 

“Everything...they hurt me so much…” Doyoung started to cry, and Kyungsoo swallowed back his own hurt. “My legs...my...they hurt me...my clothes...they…” Doyoung started hyperventilating, and Kyungsoo turned, furious as he wrapped Doyoung in a hug. 

“Donghyuck!” he yelled, and Donghyuck pushed open the door. Doyoung screamed a little, flinching, but Kyungsoo held onto him fast. “Where’s your manager at?!”

“I-I’ll go and check,” he stuttered, his eyes wide as he glanced between Doyoung and Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo felt the younger boy go limp in his arms. 

“Shit. Doyoung. Doyoung, wake up!” he patted the younger boy’s cheek. He winced at how hot it felt, despite having been sat in the cold water. He’d been raped. Kyungsoo was sure of that. As well as everything else that had happened to him...why hadn’t Jaehyun told him that?

“Kyungsoo!” he heard the manager say in surprise as he came into the bathroom. The surprise quickly turned to concern as he caught sight of a soaking wet Doyoung cradled in Kyungsoo’s arms. 

“Call an ambulance, now,” Kyungsoo snapped, ignoring formalities. He didn’t care if he was being rude, right now, he was pissed off. “His fever is abnormally high.” The manager was already talking on the phone, his eyebrows furrowed in fear. Kyungsoo stood up, lifting Doyoung up easily. His eyes widened as he realised the ease with which he had picked up the younger. It shouldn’t be possible, but Doyoung was as light as a feather. He quickly stepped out of the shower, dripping water everywhere. The manager stepped to one side as Kyungsoo walked out and carried the younger downstairs.

Johnny stood anxiously near the bottom of the stairs. His eyes widened as he took in Doyoung. “Doyoung!”

“Can someone lay out a towel or something on the couch?” Kyungsoo asked. “He’s soaking wet, he was in the shower,” Kyungsoo added as Johnny opened his mouth to ask. Johnny grabbed a discarded blanket from the side of the couch and laid it down before helping Kyungsoo to lay Doyoung down. “Where’s Jaehyun?” he asked Johnny.

“Um...balcony, I think.” Kyungsoo walked out without a word. Johnny watched him go with a sigh, turning to Doyoung. He gently ran a hand through Doyoung’s hair, moving the sopping wet locks out of his eyes. “Doyoung, please...I never thought I’d say this but I’m scared. I’m scared for you...it scares me to see you like this. What happened to our bunny, huh? Why are you so scared now? We’re all here with you, we won’t let anything else happen, I promise. Please...try and be strong for us. We’re here with you.”

“Johnny, you need to move, please.” Johnny turned to see two paramedics standing in the doorway. He immediately stood aside with the manager as they tended to him, checking his blood pressure. 

“We promised not to call an ambulance. We promised him, hyung. The reason he got like this in the first place is because we only mentioned the possibility of the hospital  _ if _ he got any worse!”

“Johnny, if his fever is like this, then what can I do?” the manager sighed in frustration. “Would you rather I let him die?!”

“He’s not going to die, sir,” one of the paramedics turned around. “If the patient doesn’t want to go to the hospital, we can treat him here.”

“What exactly is wrong with him?”

“It’s just stress. He hasn’t been sleeping well, possibly because of this trauma,” the paramedic explained, gesturing to Doyoung’s face. “He just needs to eat well and sleep well. We can give him antibiotics and an IV drip for now, and later on, a doctor can prescribe sleeping pills if necessary.”

“Would it possible for a doctor to come here?” Johnny asked, and the paramedic shrugged. 

“If that is your preference, but that will need to be arranged by your manager.” Johnny turned pleadingly to the manager, who nodded. 

“We’ll see how he is.”

“For now, he needs some dry clothes,” the other paramedic told him. “He needs to be kept warm and dry, and plenty of warm food or drink. His chest seems a little bit tight, so I would suggest using VapoRub to make it easier to breathe. I would also suggest that you keep towelling his face with a cool cloth to keep down the fever.” 

“Thank you,” the manager told them. Once they had left, the manager turned to Johnny. “I have to go back to the office, one of the seniors wanted to see me about this. Will you be able to handle this yourself?”

“Yeah, Taeil hyung and Kun are around, they can help me set up the IV,” Johnny sighed.

“I’m really sorry.” Johnny just shook his head as the manager left. He turned to Doyoung, lifting up the unconscious boy and slowly carrying him upstairs. Donghyuck was holding a set of spare clothes, seemingly on his way downstairs. Johnny sighed in relief as he took them from Donghyuck before sending the boy away. Doyoung was still unconscious as Johnny undressed him and dried him with the towel.

Just as he was about to put the sweatpants on Doyoung, Johnny saw them. The bruises. His thigh was a couple of shades darker than normal. And it was in the clear shape of a handprint.

**********

“Why didn’t you tell me everything that happened to Doyoung?” Kyungsoo snapped. Jaehyun jumped as the older man stormed towards him. 

“What are you talking about? I told you everything, hyung.”

“No, you didn’t,” Kyungsoo insisted. “You didn’t tell me that he was raped.”

Jaehyun’s eyes widened. “W-w-what?” 

Kyungsoo stared at Jaehyun. “You...you didn’t know?”

“What the fuck?” Jaehyun blurted out. “What...how...Doie…?”

“Did he not tell you?!”

“What the heck, of course he didn’t!” Jaehyun exclaimed. “How do you know this, hyung?” he asked, standing up. His legs felt shaky, and he could feel anger coursing through his body. 

“He said some things in his feverish state, and the way he was acting….I put two and two together,” Kyungsoo said slowly. Jaehyun turned and slammed his hand into the wall, letting out a yell of anger. 

“WHY?!” he screamed. “Why Doyoung? WHY COULDN’T IT BE ME?!”

“Jaehyun, please,” Kyungsoo grabbed his arm, turning him around with a little difficulty. “Don’t say that.”

“Why not, huh?!” Jaehyun snapped, breathing heavily. “This is all my fucking fault! I could have stopped this if I just got up and went with him!”

“Stop swearing,” Kyungsoo growled. “This is  _ not _ your fault, and if you say that one more time, I’ll hit you.”

“Yeah? Hit me, then,” Jaehyun hurled back. “I fucking deserve it.”

“Jaehyun, don’t,” Kyungsoo warned. “Calm down and sit down. The last thing Doyoung needs is you going off on one.” Jaehyun stared at Kyungsoo for a moment before turning and stalking away into the dorm.

**********

Johnny left Taeil and Jungwoo to insert the IV into Doyoung’s hand and to cool him down a little with fresh water. He took the stairs two at a time, fuming. He almost crashed into Jaehyun who was running through the kitchen. “Woah, slow down,” Johnny steadied Jaehyun. “Wait...what’s wrong?”

“Doyoung...he was...they didn’t just hit him,” Jaehyun’s voice trembled. 

“How...how did you know?”

“How did you know?” Jaehyun shot back.

“I was changing him now...and he has bruises.”

“Kyungsoo hyung just said...he said that Doyoung told him.” Johnny’s suspicions were immediately confirmed. “And...he said that stuff before, remember...not to hurt him…”

“Fuck…” he muttered. “I didn't want to believe it.”

“Why didn’t he tell anyone?” 

“Jae, if this was you, would you have told anyone?” Jaehyun slowly shook his head. “Don’t blame him for this.”

“I’m not. This isn’t his fault at all -”

“And it’s not yours, either,” Kyungsoo came through the door. “I have to go, I’ve been here longer than I thought. Please keep in contact, and let us know how Doyoung is. As for what we know...please, don’t spread it around to your members. If Doyoung wanted to tell you, he would’ve said in the first place.” 

“We won’t. Thank you for your help.” Johnny bowed to Kyungsoo, who patted them both on the shoulder as he walked out. The two boys sighed as their elder left. “Jae, it’s up to us now. We can’t tell the others.”

“Shouldn’t he get checked out, though?” 

Johnny looked doubtful. “I’ll have to talk to Manager hyung…”

“Please.” Jaehyun examined his bleeding knuckles. “He needs to get better soon.”

**********

Almost two weeks later, Doyoung slowly made his way downstairs. Jaehyun looked up as he came downstairs and grinned widely, but Doyoung looked away. He was embarrassed and ashamed beyond belief. Jaehyun put his arm around Doyoung, helping him downstairs. Doyoung couldn’t help but flinch. How could Jaehyun bear to touch him after knowing what had happened to him?

“Come and sit down, Doie.” How could Jaehyun still call him by that affectionate nickname? Doyoung lowered himself into the couch. “How are you feeling?”

“Better.” Doyoung shivered a little, wrapping his hoodie closer to him. 

“Are you hungry?”

“No.”

“Well, that’s no way to behave, because you’re gonna have to eat today, whether you like it or not!” Taeil walked into the room with a grin. Doyoung felt a smile briefly grace his face. He didn’t miss the way Jaehyun’s face fell at Doyoung's reaction to Taeil. 

“Why, hyung?”

“Because we’re throwing you a party.”

“What for?”

“We feel like it,” Taeil shrugged. “You’d better get used to it.”

“But...it’s not even my birthday. And you’re all supposed to be practicing.”

“We’re taking you to practice with us, don’t worry. We can party there.” Jaehyun stood up. “Climb onto my back.” 

Doyoung looked between Taeil and Jaehyun. “I can walk…”

“We’re not supposed to be here,” Taeil told him. “The quicker we get back down to practice, the less likely it is that we’ll get in trouble. And I’m too small to carry you.” Doyoung hesitated for a moment before wrapping his arms around Jaehyun’s neck. Jaehyun grinned widely at Taeil, who winked while Doyoung wasn’t looking before turning away quickly. 

“Tell me if it hurts, or if I’m going too fast. I can slow down…”

“It’s fine, thank you.” Doyoung felt like crying. He still couldn’t believe that Jaehyun was still treating him properly. He wrapped his arms tighter around Jaehyun’s neck, and adjusted his legs so it was more comfortable. Jaehyun started walking, keeping up a conversation with both Doyoung and Taeil. Doyoung let himself rest his head on Jaehyun’s shoulder, suddenly tired. 

They took the lift downstairs, and then began the walk to the practice room. “You’re so light, I could carry you forever,” Jaehyun told Doyoung. 

“Why would you want to?” Doyoung hopped off Jaehyun’s back as they reached the practice room. Jaehyun frowned, but Doyoung’s back was to him, and he missed it.

“Ladies first,” Taeil teased, and Doyoung rolled his eyes, walking forwards a little. He pushed open the door. 

“SURPRISE!” Doyoung was expecting the noise, but it was louder than he thought it would be. He blinked as Taeyong and Donghyuck rushed over to him. “Come and sit down, hyung!” Donghyuck took his hands and led him to the couch. Yuta helped him to fix a hat on his head. Jeno sat on Doyoung's other side, handing him a kazoo. 

“Cake! Cake! Cake!” Jaemin and Jisung started chanting, and soon the other members joined in. Doyoung couldn’t help but laugh as Johnny walked inside, holding chocolate cake. He set it down in front of Doyoung, holding out a knife’s handle towards him.

“Cut the cake, hyung!”

“First tell me what the occasion is,” Doyoung laughed, accepting the knife from Johnny. “Seriously, this is really good, but what is going on?”

“This is us...uh...apologising for not coming with you,” Jaehyun began nervously. Doyoung looked up at him, making eye contact with Jaehyun for the first time in over a week. Where he was expecting to see disgust, he saw love, he saw support, he saw compassion, and he saw pain. “I should have woken up that day. I knew how much you wanted to go, and I was lazy and let you go by yourself. So...I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologise, I already said...it…it wasn’t your fault.” He cleared his throat, looking around at the members. “It’s not anyone’s fault. What happened...it’s only the fault of...of those people.”

“And also,” Johnny added as Doyoung paused, “we want you to know that we’ll always support you. No matter what. You trusted Jaehyun and I to take care of you. So we hope that you can trust everyone else in the same way.” Doyoung caught on immediately, and he smiled, his first true smile in nearly two weeks. 

“Thank you both,” Doyoung said sincerely. And the three of them shared a secretive grin. Doyoung felt tears pool in his eyes, suddenly overwhelmed. He could feel the love radiating around the room; it was almost tangible. He wasn’t ok, and he didn’t know if he would ever fully be ok. But he could always count on everyone here. 

“Ok, cake time,” Jaehyun cleared his throat. He gently wrapped his hand around Doyoung's, and together they made the first cut. Doyoung smiled tearfully at Jaehyun, who hugged him sideways, squeezing his shoulder. “You’re strong, Doie,” Jaehyun whispered in his ear as Taeyong continued to cut slices for everyone. “You can do it. I believe in you.” He squeezed Doyoung’s hand before moving away.

“Hyung!” Mark called, beckoning Jaehyun over. Jaehyun looked up, accepting a slice from Taeyong. “You forgot this upstairs.” He handed Jaehyun a box, the same box that he was intending to give to Doyoung on that day. 

“Thanks, man.” He wandered over to Doyoung, who was sitting back and staring at everyone talking and laughing around the room, an almost wistful look on his face. “Doie, wanna go for a walk?”

“Uh, sure,” Doyoung replied nervously. Jaehyun held out his hand to help Doyoung up, setting down his cake slice.

“We’ll be back in a minute!” he called to the group in general, flipping off Johnny who waggled his eyebrows at them. Still holding Doyoung’s hand, he led them outside into the small garden behind the dorm building. “Doyoung hyung, I want to apologise properly to you.”

“Jaehyun, it wasn’t your fault. You were tired, and I shouldn’t have insisted on going on that day anyway,” Doyoung responded, fiddling with Jaehyun’s long fingers. “I know you’ve been beating yourself up about everything. But please...don’t. It was my own fault for going alone.” He turned to look at Jaehyun. “Maybe we should stop playing the blame game.”

“Maybe.” Jaehyun took Doyoung’s other hand in his. “I have a gift for you, actually.” He reached into his pocket and drew out the small ring box. 

“Are you proposing to me?” Doyoung asked teasingly, looking closely at the box. 

“I mean, that was the plan in a few years, but if you’re ready now,” Jaehyun teased back. Doyoung smiled a little. 

“Seriously, what is it?”

“Well, originally it was an apology,” Jaehyun explained. “And now? It’s still an apology, but it’s also a confession.”

“Hmm?” Jaehyun opened the box to reveal the ring, and Doyoung gasped. “Casper, you didn’t…how did you know?”

“I know you too well, Doie,” Jaehyun shrugged. “I have my ways of knowing. And it’s the least I can do for you, anyway.” He took the ring from the box and took hold of Doyoung’s hand. “Doyoung, I...I love you.”

“W-what?”

“I’ve loved you for a long time…” Jaehyun cleared his throat, feeling his face heating up. He busied himself slipping the ring onto Doyoung’s finger. “But I didn’t know when to tell you, or how to tell you. This isn't ideal...you’re still recovering, and what happened was horrible. I swear when they catch the fuckers that did this to you, I’m not letting them go.” He laughed a little. “But, I can’t let this opportunity slip away either. It’s time for me to come clean and tell you...I owe that to you at least.” He cleared his throat. “And...I understand if you don’t feel the same way, I just, I had to tell you...and I can wait too, if that’s what you want, I won’t push you or anything, I swear…” He finally dared to look up at Doyoung, who was watching him with a small smile on his face. “What?”

“You’re so cute when you ramble, did you know that?” 

“Hyung,” Jaehyun covered his face with his hands, thoroughly embarrassed. 

“Thank you for everything, Jae,” Doyoung said simply, resting his head on Jaehyun’s shoulder. “And I would like it if you waited for me. I’m not ready just yet. Like you said, I’m recovering. But...I wouldn’t be opposed to having anything with you. In the future, that is.” Jaehyun smiled, and he felt Doyoung smile too. “Thank you for waiting, Jaehyun.”

“Thank you for accepting me, Doyoung.” 

Doyoung wasn’t sure if he would ever recover. The incident was still fresh in his mind, the emotions raw. But he knew that along the way, he’d have his members. And he’d have Jaehyun. And that was more than enough for him. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this,,,angsty and violent thing. It's highly unlikely that I won't write something of this nature again because of how difficult it was to articulate, and my intention is not to take away from rape victims or anything like that. I just wanted to draw attention to how devastating the effects of abuse of any kind can get and how life changing it can be. I've seen it happen to my loved ones, and that's not something anyone should ever experience.
> 
> Until next time x


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